A blog about how I found myself to be great at story telling
It is easy to think of a great story to sell your life to yourself. So that you can tell yourself why you are still living in a city even though you feel so much happier being in nature. So that you can explain to yourself why you are doing a 9 to 5 job even though it drains you from energy or why you are in a relationship that you know does not really fit.
It is pretty difficult however to look into the mirror at yourself. It is pretty damn hard to face what you are feeling instead of running away from it or using alcohol, food or drugs to numb the feeling. It is hard to be confronted with the fact that the life you have created for yourself does not fit with who you really are deep inside.
I am a great story teller. I told myself that if I found my dream job, dream relationship or dream place to live I would be happy. I told myself that I would be able to fulfill society’s wishes to get a job, a house and a steady relationship. I told myself that this would make me happy in the end.
But I am a great liar too. I knew I was different all along. I knew it would be tough for me to follow the red line of life and I knew that an external circumstance would never change the way I feel from the inside.
Today I will stop lying to myself. I will start listening to what I have always known deep inside. I will hit the road once again. This time without an external goal such as finding a place to live. My only aim is to develop self-love and acceptance for the part of me which I was hiding most of the time. A person that loves nature, sun, surf and people. A person that needs to change up life every few months to keep on growing and challenging myself. A person that feels tension even at the idea of buying a house or settling for an office job.
I forgot about this person. I forgot about me. So on this trip I will aim to re-discover who I am and fall in love with every aspect of my being, even the parts that do not fit with society and the parts I hid well below the surface.
What the plan is? I do not know. All I know is I will get my surf instructor’s license and hope to find a great place to work for a while. Recommendations are very welcome of course.
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